Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My FET: Just the 2 of us..

 ** My theme song for this time would be "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Do enjoy this song while you read thru the rest of this journey of mine ;)
 Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

Dear frens..
Sorry for taking such a long time to update my blog.
Kinda looking for the right mood to finally update this blog
I presume that you could guess what was the result from my title above :)
Yes.. it was negative, again.
(and do accept my sincere apology for making some of you think that i'm preggy ;) )

Erm.. it has been almost 2 months after my FET ended. Pheww.. it took me such a long time to update this blog.
If i were to update  this blog right after i got the news.. i believe my blog would be full of
emotional writing, i guess..
So.. i decided to put a break first.. and continue with my blog after i'am not under such emotional state ...;)

Here's the flashback:

22 June - 3 July 2011
The 2 weeks waiting game is on.
As expected, i experienced more or less the same signs or should i say side effects as my previous attempt..
bloating, cramp, back pain and so on.
But this time it was slightly different. On my 2nd and 3rd day after the tranfer, watery fluid come out of my vagina.. it was something like the fluid that you get when you ovulated.
I was a bit panick, thinking that the fluid that was transferred into my vagina that contains the embryos has slipped out ! So i send an sms to tell the nurse on this.
She then returned my message saying that there's nothing to be worry about.. fuhhss... what a relief.
For the whole of the 2 WW.. i was really enjoying it.
My husband took a really good care of me..
Bought food, did the chores, massage me when i felt back pains.. ;)
what a lovely moments.. how i wish to be pampered like that for my whole life.. kekeke..

4 July 2011
The 2 WW has finally ended. It's time to do the pregnancy test..pheww
Can't really sleep the nite before.. I had such a very bad dream.. in my dream... i found out my pregnancy test was negative... huhuhu. i must have been thinking so much of the result that it appear in my dream..
Woke up at 6.30 am.. feeling uneasy.. worry that my bad dreams would come true.
Though my heart pounding fast, i put all my guts to do the pregnancy test..
After 1 minute.. 1 line visible..
3 minute.. still 1 line..
wait again.. 8 minutes.. huhhu.. 1 line..
15 minutes.. sighhhh.. 1 line.. ;(
Can't really believe my eyes.. i even tried to see the test strip under the bedroom light..
but.. nothing changed.. ;(

I slowly woke-up my husband and told him the news.
He looked a bit frustrated too .. ;(
I then lie back on the bed, next to him, closed my eyes and tried to swallow the truth...sigh

I stopped taking the Duphaston as per doctor's instruction.
I got my menstrual 5 days after that (actually i thought that i would still have the chance of being pregnant since my mentrual was delayed for few days ..sigh).. This time my menstrual pain last for almost 3 days.. huhu...

Since this is the second failed attempt, both of us handle it pretty well.
No tears.. no sorrow....just the feeling of bit of frustration on the first day.
Deep down inside, I believe there is still hope.. and God (Allah) must have a better and greater plan for both of us.

For those who will be doing their IVF/IUI.. who is on TTC..
though my IVF failed, i hope this blog will still give you inspiration to fight the journey
Whatever happens, don't you ever give up...
Remember that there are million of successful IVF stories out there in the whole world ;)

I guess.. that's the end of our first journey of IVF..
Insyaallah, when the right time comes, we will be doing another IVF.
At the moment, we will put a pause for the TTC. Let my uterus rest for a while ya ;)

A day after we received the not-so-good news.... we decided to have a break for
a romantic honeymoon at Tioman Island.. ;) Yeayyy..


Not our day.... yet  ;P


  1. Dear Jams,

    I'm so sorry to hear the news. I really understand how u feel and what you are going through cause my first IVF failed too (no more eggs for FET).

    I guess it was just not the right time for the both of us and that God has other plans for us.

    I too am taking a break from TTC and plan to go seek some traditional chinese medicine to help restore my body's health. Feel like there's too much chemicals in my body from all the IVf etc.

    I wish you all the best and when the time is right, that you'll be blessed with a baby.

  2. Hi,
    Thanks ;)
    Me looking for alternative ways for u said.. too much chemical in our body..
    Chinese medicine sounds interesting.. will put that in my list ;)
    If you found a good info on this Chinese medicine.. do share it with us ya.

  3. Dear Jams,

    I'm so so so sorry to hear the news...i can feel your pain and sorrow...

    take a rest, take a deep breath.. im sure Allah has better planning for all of us here...

    take care...

  4. hi Jams,

    I was checking ur blog regularly to see the results. then I almost guessed your results, since there was no update. I know ur feeling coz i've been through it twice before. jus take around 6 months or year break. what does Dr say? did u see him again?

    btw u only had 4 embryos?

    I'm gonna try with him my 3rd attempt (first 2 with another dr) on my coming cycle. i don't know i'm really scared about the whole process due to my previous experiences.

    Moreover i'm not working here, just waiting to try one more attempt and then i'm gonna move on with my career.

    Nowadays there is no one as childless couples, modern technology is a miracle to all of us. so only thing i could say is "Never give up my dear Jams". do u know Celin Dion's story? its all about perseverance and she finally got 3 now.

    Are u gonna see Dr P again? or someone else? actually Dr P is quiet knowledgeable in IVF right?

    Tc and don't forget we are here to support each other...

  5. Hi jams... Sorry to hear the news. But, don't give up kay! Allah Knows better. I'm sure He has good plan lay ahead of you. Be strong!

  6. I'm so sorry Hun. Hang in there. Inshallah when god wants it to happen it will. Pray lots. My love. Xoxo.

  7. I'm so sorry.... B strong gal. Am sure u'll b blessed soon. Tc.

  8. Sorry to hear the news... Hope we will have better outcomes in the next IVF.. I'm still coping with the outcome from the first IVF.. Hopefully can gather courage to do it again somewhere end of the year... GAMBATE for all us !!! :)

  9. Hi, sorry for that but don't give up. I have 2 surgeries, 1 procedure, 3.5 times of IVF trials and this take me 7 years of journey and am blessed with 3 kids now. Have a chat with the doctor see what is the real problem

  10. Dear all....thanks a million for the support ;).

    By the way, after the result, we did not meet the doctor. I guess it must be the chromosome issue too like previous one. Whatever it is, "memang belum ada rezeki" (no luck again). 
    After 2 times attempt, i would say that i happy i did the ivf even though it failed. At least i tried my best.. ;). 

  11. Angel baby,
    Celine Dion and Tengku Azizah (Pahang royalty) are the 2 persons that give me inspiration for " never give up" in this whole journey. I really admire their courage in doing ivf for so many times. Ermm..maybe i should gather some stories about them and write it in my blog for inspirational stories of ivf ;).

    Wishing you all the best of luck for your ivf.
    Somewhere over the rainbow...there must be a beautiful ending for all of us ;)

  12. Dear AC.. must be a very very strong one for going thru all that ;).
    May you, your hubby and the 3 lovely kids live happily ever after.

  13. I am so sorry to hear about this....However, let me tell you that my best friend had gone through 3 failed IVF and got pregnant with twins under Dr P.....Finally gave birth to the twins this year.....The important thing is not to lost faith and hang in will get there soon! All the best!!!!

  14. Salam Jams, I'm sorry to hear about the FET outcome. Belum rezeki lagi tu. My 2nd IUI haritu pun resulted in another BFN :P Kita enjoy raya dulu k?

    Selamat hari raya to you and family :)
    Take care


  15. hi.. my MIL always said 'Allah suka mendengar orang2 Islam berdoa & meminta dari-Nya. Mungkin sebab itu kita lambat mendapat cahayamata... Sebab Allah sangat suka mendengar doa kita'

    SeLaMat HaRi RaYa... MaaF ZahiR BaTin....

    lots of love,

  16. Hi Anonymous..
    Your fren must be very tough for going thru so many IVF...... do send my regards and "Congratulation" to her for the twins ;).
    ** And thanks for sharing such a good news


  17. Kikko..
    yeahh..kita enjoy dulu raye kan..
    tak per.. ade peluang, kite cube lagi.
    No matter what happen.. live life to the fullest.. ;P

  18. Cameronrose dear,

    You MIL is totally right....
    Bila ade dugaan mcm ni.. kite takkan lupe dan sentiasa berdoa.. dan harap2 nye.. bila dah berjaye dpt zuriat nanti2.. kite semue akan terus berdoa ..dan berdoa.. :)

  19. To all muslim friends...

    And to all Malaysian...

    Luv always..jams

  20. I came across yr blog by accident while googling for Dr P. We are contemplating IVF and yr blog is so descriptive, I even got my husband to read it so that he wld have a rough idea what we have to go through. Both of us were so gutted and sad that your ivf failed. We both feel for you and wish you well.. Take good care!

  21. Salam Jam,

    I stumbled on your blog and tq for writing it. It gave me hope knowing that I am not alone in this tough journey. I too had my IVF done in Dec 2010 and FET in Jun 2011. Both were BFN. Now I am struggling to lose the extra kilos and gathering my courage to do another IVF and hopefully it will be a success for me. To you dear Jam and all of you out there who are facing the same challenges posed by God Almighty, remember that he is there and this is just another phase to 'test' our strength. May all of us will receive our bundle of joy soonest. Baby dust to all!

  22. Hi Jam,
    Sorry to hear the news. It has been long time I didn't check your blog since my pregnancy. Dun give up. Am sure Dr P is able to help u... I got my lovely boy delivered on July. My fren go through IUI with Dr P and failed, then he try IVF again, finally he got a twins and will deliver on Jan 2012...So dun give up! Take a good rest and enjoy your holiday before the next journey begin...

  23. Hi all.. thanks for the support ;)
    I'm now on my mission to loose weight.
    After hari raya, it seems that i gained more kilos than loosing it during the Ramadan..huhuh..
    Still have a few open houses today and this weekends.. ;P
    Though i'm not doing any treatment currently, the TTC mission is still and always on ;).
    Now, i just take some herbs from Mekah (Mecca) and a few other things for our TTC. Will share with u later ya.

    Anyway, just got a news from a good friend of mine who also did IVF with Dr.P. Alhamdullillah, the IVf was a successful one. She's now 3 months preggy... ;).. To NJH, congrats and do take good care of urself and the baby.. ;)

  24. Salam Jams, how are you doing these days? Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Although the FET didn't go well, I hope you will continue updating us on your journey. Take care :)

  25. Salam Ezria.. both of us doing very2 fine.
    Will try to update our journey. There's a lot of thing that's already in my mind but
    just looking for the right time and mood to start blogging again ;).

    Thanks for visiting my blog ;)

  26. Hi, sorry to b hear without ur permission...well I was reading through ur blogs about ur IVF stuff...but do believe in Allah..b strong...n do not stop ur treatment till u achieve what u want, well just want to share something..I do have menstrual problem & difficulty getting pregnant, but I'm mother to 2 kids now; gal & boy :). I went through IUI treatment with Dr. Prashant after 3 yrs seeking treatment with many gaeny...I trust me..he is the best Doc ever I met

  27. Hi Jam,
    Just to share my story. I too have 3 IVF attempts with Dr. Prashant and the 3rd resulted in my lovely baby boy born in Dec 2011. In the 3rd attempt, I only have 2 follicles and only one fertilised. Thus, only one embryo transfered and that's my baby boy. Looking at how slim the chance is, it's really a miracle! So, to those TTC, pls do not give up the hope. Miracle can happen. And yes, Dr. P is the best!

    1. Hi,
      Woww.. that's truly a miracle! Congratulation for the baby boy. U must be very strong to have done the 3 IVFs.
      For info, i'm now about to start my second round of treatment. Am updating this blog. Do visit my blog again ya.

    2. Saya pun akan buat dengan Dr Prashant untuk second IVF tak lama lagi. Don't give up Jamps!

  28. hi, i have undergone 3 IUI's and all failed. We have been very upset. But this blog has given us all the courage. To Jams i wish you all the best and never give up. You will be surely blessed one day.

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