Giuliana & Bill ~ The celebrity couple struggling with infertility

I love to watch the Giuliana & Bill ~ reality tv show, every Wednesday nite via E! channel.
Giuliana is the E! News host and her hubby, Bill Rancic, I guess... who has watched the first season of The Apprentice (Donald Trump's reality tv show) would have remember him. He's the first apprentice hired by Trump via the show. Giuliana and Bill have been happily married for 3 years now.

This lovely couple has been struggled to conceive for the past few years.
They did IUI once but the attempt was fail. Recently, they take a bigger step to do the IVF.
Their IVF result was positive.. but sadly after 8 weeks, the baby didn't grow well.. and the doctor said that they had a miscarriage.. sigh.. really feel sorry for them.
According the their doctor, the miscarriage was due to chromosomal issue (which was
the same thing as what our doctor told us when our ivf failed..)
What i like about this reality show is it that despite their sadness for loosing their baby,
their love for each other become stronger and they keep on doing lots of happy things together to keep their life cherished.
Watching this reality show reminds me a lot of what we have gone through in our journey.. the struggle..
the joy as well as the frustration.
For them.. they might not have any problem with money to fund their fertility treatment but they might need to endure such great pressure from their fans.. reporters.. paparazi.. who keep on chasing them.. asking them about their TTC..
But for us.. or lots of people.. money would be the biggest hinderer in seeking for the fertility treatment as well as some pressure from family..friends and people around us..
Whatever it is....hope that this couple would eventually blessed with beautiful baby ;)

Appointment ~ Looking for the answer

30 October 2010
A week after our end-of-first ivf journey, we had our appointment with Dr Prashant.
Our mission for today was to look for the answer for our failed ivf and moving forward plan for our Frozen Embryo Transfer. 
Unlike our previous appointment, this time we were not the first patient. By the time we reached the clinic at around 10.30 am, the sofas were almost fully occupied. We're lucky because there were 2 more vacant seats left for the two of us. While waiting for our turn, i just sat there, did a quick browsing of the Elle magazine. There was this one time, i overheard the telephone conversion between the nurse with a patient.
At the end of conversion, the nurse sounded so excited and congratulate the patient for the positive urine pregnancy test. I guess the patient might have done the IUI or FET.. Errmm.. suddenly i felt a bit jealous for her positive result....sigh..anyway.. i hope that the lady will make it until 9 months and get a beautiful healthy baby ;|

My Aunt Flow came at last

22 October 2010
It has been 4 days since the day i did my beta blood test and stop all the medications.
The side effects from the medication has gone by now..and surprisingly.. all my premenstrual symptoms has gone too..
until today.. my Aunt Flow has not come yet.. and there seems no signs of it coming...
Ermmm ... it just make me wonder.. 
when will my period come..
or.. is the medication making my period haywire already
or.. is my beta blood test result shows false result that it could be positive, which is why my
period has not come until now..
So many "wondering" questions keep playing in my mind....

Back to reality

22 October 2010 
After the 3 weeks of long leave.... i finally came back to reality.
I purposely ended my leave and started to work on Friday...
just to jump-start a bit my brain for the tonnes of my outstanding office work and projects.
Then let my brain rest again for 2 days over the weekend.. before the real work (or headache) start on Monday.. ahaa.. isn't it a brilliant idea   ;)


When i reached my office that morning.. as early as 7.40 am (my office hour start at 8am), 
i slowly walked to my place.. my eyes was looking around.. it was so quite.. most of my friends were not in the office yet.. 
then suddenly.. there was this weird feeling.. everything felt and look so normal.. like there's nothing happen.. it felt as if my ivf journey was just a dream....ermm....

Surviving the Melancholia

19 October 2010
That night, my husband took me out for dinner at the Bangi Kopitiam.

Both of us just sat there..enjoyed our dinner.. listened to the 80's music which reminds us of our schooldays...
happily chit chat about so many things .. but neither of us uttered any word about the result..

maybe we just don't feel like taking about it
or.. maybe both of us can already accept it...
whatever it is, it was quite a good dinner since i've been home-quarantined for quite sometime.. ;P

My IVF : The Moment of Truth

19 October 2010


12am
Couldn't have a good sleep that night. I was like awoke every 2 hours. Tried not to think so much of the result, but it seems to be automatically popped out of my mind.


6.30am
Today i wore my pink flowery cotton blouse with my khakis skirt (not able to wear my jeans due to my bulging tummy.. hehe), i put on some make-ups.. just want to look nice for our Big Day..

Had our fav breakfast.. half boiled eggs and hot Milo.. watered our plants.. i took a picture of our beautifully bloomed purple morning glory flower.... 
Dunno why.. my feeling that morning.. calm and happy .... lalalalala   :D