Back to reality

22 October 2010 
After the 3 weeks of long leave.... i finally came back to reality.
I purposely ended my leave and started to work on Friday...
just to jump-start a bit my brain for the tonnes of my outstanding office work and projects.
Then let my brain rest again for 2 days over the weekend.. before the real work (or headache) start on Monday.. ahaa.. isn't it a brilliant idea   ;)


When i reached my office that morning.. as early as 7.40 am (my office hour start at 8am), 
i slowly walked to my place.. my eyes was looking around.. it was so quite.. most of my friends were not in the office yet.. 
then suddenly.. there was this weird feeling.. everything felt and look so normal.. like there's nothing happen.. it felt as if my ivf journey was just a dream....ermm....


Some of my friends asked me so many questions.. asking why i took such a long leave.. 
where have i been for the past 3 weeks..and some even thought that i've spent my holiday oversea.. ;) .. so many speculation eh.. (Only my teammate and my boss knew about my treatment).. My answer was simple.. "I've dedicated my time for the past 1 year for the xx project.. so i just feel like to have long leave and rest .. after all I've so many annual leave left this year"....  (my carry forward leave for year 2011 is 25 days !! )


For the whole of the day.. i just tried to act normal and cheerful as usual. 
I did share some my ivf story with my teammate.. (who knew that i was on treatment). 
Also told them my plan to continue my treatment in Feb next year and they were all okay with my plan to take another long leave.. :)  
Then there was this question from a friend of mine, "Do you feel frustrated?". 
I asked her back, "If you are in my shoes, what would you feel?".
She answered "After spending so much....RM17000..of course i will feel really frustrated.".
I silent a moment..tried to digest what she has just said,  then i simply answer, " I don't know why.. but i don't really feel so much about loosing the RM17000, in fact i did not even thought anything about the RM17000 that i've spent.. errmm....it was just a pure frustration because my ivf result was negative.". 


That concluded my 1st day at work after such a long & winding ivf journey.. 
Adios ... jams